The Waiting Game...

This week has been kind of difficult. As I type this, I'm currently 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant, so about 10 days to go before the due date. And ever since I hit the 37 week milestone when I could deliver at my birth center, I've been waiting and wondering when little one will arrive.

The funny thing is, I never thought that this waiting period would be so hard. I always figured that I'd stay busy and just know that she will come when she wants to come and be completely fine with that. I really didn't anticipate the frustrated agony of simply not knowing "when."

As many of you know, I'm a planner and also a bit of a control freak. I like to have a plan for everything, and then try and keep things according to plan. However, if it doesn't go exactly the way I had planned I'm normally okay, because I often have a plan B, C and D. I drive my husband nuts when we talk about things for the future because we go down one scenario, then if that doesn't work we have a back-up scenario, etc. He always gets frustrated and is like, "you can't possibly know what's going to happen so why are we talking about this!" But for me, it's soothing to try and think of all of the possibilities and do everything I can to prepare for any circumstance.

Which is why I had the baby's room done months ago, everything organized and put away within 24 hour of my last baby shower and have been bugging my sweet husband to install the car seat every day (he did do it last weekend!). I just want to make sure that we are ready at a moment's notice. My bag has been at least partially packed since the beginning of April and while I will probably always still have a to-do list and "just one more thing" that I want to get done, the only thing I really need now is our baby!

I've also had the privilege of walking this first-time Mom journey with several friends, and have seen babies come early, right on time and after their due date. So I know that you just never know! It still doesn't stop me though from thinking about when it's going to happen almost every second of every day though...

I know that God is trying to teach me a very important lesson through all of this though and that is one of patience and waiting on his time. HE knows when little one will arrive. HE knows if she's going to be healthy or not. HE already loves her more than I do, so what the heck am I worrying so much for? Logically, it all makes tons of sense. But then another minute goes by and I'm back to thinking about it! Sigh. 

Right now, this is my battle and one that I am constantly praying my way through. I've had good moments and bad moments this week but I think the most important thing is who I keep turning to for sanity and support and that's God. It's definitely the greatest test of patience that I've ever had and there's not one darn thing I can do about it!

So whether I'm still waiting on this little one tomorrow, or a week from now or 20 days from now (I can technically go until June 11 and still deliver at the birth center), I will continue to attempt to do so with a grateful heart. Grateful for this perfect little girl who is on the way. Grateful for a wonderful husband who faithfully puts up with my craziness. Grateful for the loving friends and family who have gathered around us and helped up prepare for this precious gift. And overall, grateful that even in my struggles, I can turn to the Lord and He will provide the comfort that I need to make it through who know how many days ahead. Not just during this waiting period, but all the days to follow as well.

Closing with some verses on waiting:

Psalm 130:5-6
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight

Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry

Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God;he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Hebrews 6:15
And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

James 1:12
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.